DEAR LADY,  WAKE UP! by Olu-Ojegbeje Ololade

I was reading a post recently in which a lady narrated her experience in a relationship. Apparently, the relationship was a bad one. The part that drew my interest was where she wrote”…along the line,  he told me he cannot continue anymore that he has a girlfriend. I cried so much because I love him with all my heart….” I wasn’t quick to judge the lady because I reasoned it was one of those “things we do for love”. Then she went on to say “He later accepted me back…” Stop! As much as I wanted to sympathize with her plight, I  just couldn’t help but call her a sorry case and probably that was what she was to the guy also.

“Accepted you back???” I have a problem with that clause. Without reading further I could tell easily the kind of lady she was- a lady of no value. These days, many ladies act as though they are at the mercy of the society or at the mercy of a man. I hear stories of how some ladies were treated in a relationship and how some go begging for a guy’s love and I ask do some ladies attach value to themselves? Do they even know their worth?

Many ladies settle for less because they think it is the best they can achieve. True, the society may not be entirely favorable to women but girl, you are not at the mercy of the society. You don’t retire to the back. It is not for you to say you can not achieve anything, you get up and do something. Some ancient societies still believe that the female gender is only needed for procreation while some other societies haven’t been purified of such beliefs. Why don’t you go against that belief, do something, move things and see how society will smile at you.

Who says the only thing you can offer is your body? This is perhaps why some use their bodies to get what they want. You have a brain therefore, you can think to solve problems. Think to make things happen. Your boss offers to promote you only on the condition that you sleep with him. You agree because you feel that’s the best you can offer. Who says so?  Who says you can not leave that job and get a better one?  Who says you can not look that boss in the eye and tell him to go to hell?

As a girl, a lady, a woman, your first duty is to yourself. Get a life first. It surprises me how some ladies think that the only thing they are made for is a man. Therefore the whole essence of their existence is to look good (not even for themselves but )for a man. Little wonder we have so many ladies with just the icing and no cake. Your life does not revolve around a man. It is good to look great and have a good man too but what happened to getting a job or learning some skills?

Self-awareness is very important here. You can not place value on what you do not know. Find yourself, find your voice. The only way can aim for more is knowing you can achieve more. That way,  you are no longer satisfied with less. You know what you want and you go for it.  You don’t let anyone push you around, you take your stand on issues.

The world is moving towards a point where only people who can think will be relevant. Then, your beauty and degrees would no longer matter. What would you offer then?  Take a stand today. Add value and keep adding value. You are more than a broken home. You are more than a breakup. You are more than a bad day. You have to stand not just for yourself but for others too. Wake up!