ON MAKING FRIENDS

Agnes Oyedokun

But friendship is precious, not only in the shade but in the sunshine of life and thanks to a benevolent arrangement, the greater part of life is sunshine- Thomas Jefferson

You might think you don’t need anyone, nobody at all around you. You probably believe that you are enough for yourself, you like the peace of being alone. Serenity is good but then, who will you help you see reasons not to give up when you want to? Who will help you when you feel like you are not worth defending? Who will help you when you can’t feel the best of yourself?

I’m asking you. Can all the serenity and loneliness help you? Maybe not. Are you even aware that lonely people are more likely to get sick and that friendships boost health?

Why not find a good friend for yourself and enjoy the good things of life? But then you shouldn’t get involved with just anybody because you’ve been advised to make friends. Make friends with people of the same value as you, there’s no need to rush and research has shown that it takes about 40-60 hours to form a casual friendship in the first few weeks after meeting and about 80-100 hours to form friendship and then about 200 hours and above to form a stronger bond. Just take your time and look out for the right values and qualities.

Maybe you don’t even know how to go about making new friends or you think everybody tries to leave you on your own even where there’s a chance for them to talk with you. Look at your face in the mirror, boss. Can you talk to you if you see yourself outside with your squeezed face? Try to smile. Researchers say that the key to making new friends is all in the mouth. Smiling helps to strike up a new relationship because people are more attuned to positive emotions when forming new bonds than they are to negative ones like squeezed faces, anger, sadness or contempt. Try to change if you are in this category so you can bask in the euphoric sunshine of great friendships.