More Than Just Roommates: Learning and Unlearning While Living Together

By: Abigail Kareem

Living with another person is often painted as a simple arrangement of convenience, but shared walls can hold far more than shared rent.

For University Students such as the University of Ibadan, getting good roommates is often more than luck, it is a prayer that comes from either the parents or the student. “God, please give me good roommates.” It may sound simple, but anyone who has stayed in these halls —Queens, Awo, Mellanby, Indy, Idia, among others, knows that the kind of people you share a room with can shape your entire school experience, from late-night gists to shared struggles with water and light. This is why students often say that getting the right roommates is almost as important as getting the right lecturers — because while books build your mind, roommates touch your lifestyle, habits, and even your peace of mind.

Student Experience: The influencer and The influenced

As a student, living with others is almost unavoidable, especially in school hostels where shared rooms are the norm. You may find yourself learning to adjust to different habits, personalities and routines. This is what psychologists call the “Proximity Principle”: when people naturally grow closer to those they live near.

Some students blend in easily, creating bonds and sharing moments with their roommates, while others prefer to keep to themselves. Even in a crowded space, they find ways to enjoy their privacy, setting quiet boundaries and carving out personal time without disrupting the shared environment. This, it becomes a balance between coexisting with others and still holding on to a sense of personal space.

One powerful way roommates influence each other is through motivation. In an interview with AFAS Press , Happiness, a 200-level student from Idia Hall explained how living with her current roommates had a direct effect on her own attitude toward academics and personal growth. “Their dedication made me see I could do better,” she said, noting that the competitive but supportive environment in her room challenged her to work harder.

Reshaping of old perceptions also stands as an influence. Micheal, a 400-level student from Independence Hall, mentioned how he had a stereotype of boys being disorderly and carefree. However, this perception changed in his 200-level days where he was privileged to stay with neat and well organised roommates. “I used to think boys didn’t care about tidiness, but they proved me wrong,” he said.

The experience of Happiness and Michael reveals that not only is there a good coexistence between themselves and their roommates, but the adoption of beneficial habits is possible. For others, the experience can be frustrating. An anonymous student from a private hostel complained of roommates who returned from parties during exam week and disrupted her focus.

The adage “Bad company corrupts good manners” captures only part of the truth. Just as students are shaped by their roommates, many also discover they are active influencers in return.Uchenna, a 200-level student in Mellanby Hall, believes his discipline rubbed off on others. “I was always up by 5 a.m. reading. They laughed at me at first, but later two of them joined me. Now, one even beats me to the reading room.”

Tomilola, now in her 400 level and a long-time resident of Awo Hall, recounted helping a carefree roommate change her academic attitude. “I decided to talk to her and even dragged her along to read,” she explained. “Later, she thanked me for not giving up on her even when she had almost given up on herself. Though they no longer share a room, their bond remains strong.”

Such stories show that influence is rarely one-sided. Roommates don’t just influence academics; they also shape religious habits. A student living with prayerful roommates may find themselves waking up for early morning prayers or attending fellowships more often, while another living with carefree ones might slowly drift from such practices. In this way, roommates can either strengthen or weaken one’s spiritual life

Do We Really Need Roommates?

Roommates are in most cases “companions, they ease loneliness, and lend helping hands during financial breakdown.” Chores can be done for you if you grew so much into each other, and who will be of assistance to you should you be feeling under the weather if not your roommates?

While many University of Ibadan students spend their days navigating hostel life with one or more roommates, there are some who take a different path. Alfred, a student who stays off-campus, represents this smaller group of those who live entirely alone.Unlike others who may find themselves in such an arrangement because of circumstances, Alfred explains that his decision was deliberate. “It was my choice to stay alone,” he says firmly. “I was brought up by my parents to live in my own room right from childhood, and I don’t really know how to share a room with a roommate.”

In the end, living with roommates is far more than co-existing; it is a journey of growth. It teaches tolerance, negotiation, and patience. It reveals how much influence we have on others, and how much we are shaped in return. For some, roommates become lifelong friends; for others, they remain a chapter of endurance. But in every case, the lessons extend far beyond school walls. Roommates, with their love, conflicts, and quirks, continue to echo in the people we become

Image credit: Aises