Friendship: A Hit or Miss?

By: Marvellous Olajide

In every university campus, friendships are like oxygen, you need them to survive. From roommates who share your struggles with hostel water scarcity and power outages, to coursemates who send you missed class notes, to that one friend who never lets you skip a meal, friendships shape not just your social life but also your mental and emotional wellbeing.

But not every friendship is healthy. Some drain you, distract you, or make you doubt yourself. Others lift you up, challenge you to be better, and give you the strength to keep going. The friends you keep in school can either become your biggest support system or your greatest source of stress.

University life is stressful, assignments pile up, money disappears too quickly, and exams always seem to arrive faster than expected. In moments like these, a good friend can be the difference between drowning in anxiety and finding hope.

A good friend may provide:

Emotional Support: Someone to rant to after a frustrating lecture so you don’t bottle it up.

Motivation: A reminder of your potential when you’re tempted to give up.

Healthy Escape: Laughter over suya or a late-night hostel gist that feels like therapy.

Accountability: Friends who take academics seriously and pull you along so you don’t lose focus.

Research shows that social support improves mental health and reduces stress. In other words, the friends you keep can literally make your university journey healthier.

A healthy friendship should: Encourage growth – a friend who pushes you to attend class instead of convincing you to skip.

Respect boundaries – someone who knows when you need space and doesn’t take it personally.

Offer balance – you both give and take; it’s not one-sided.

Bring peace, not drama – if you always feel tense around someone, that’s a red flag.

Celebrate, not compete – a good friend is happy for your wins, not secretly wishing you fail.

The flip side is toxic friendships. Sadly, many students stay stuck in unhealthy circles out of fear of being alone. Warning signs include: constant comparison that makes you feel “less than,” friends who drain your money or time, gossip or manipulation, and interactions that leave you mentally exhausted. If a friendship consistently harms your wellbeing, it’s okay to step back. Protecting your peace is not selfish; it’s necessary.

So, how can you build healthy friendships in school? Whether you’re a freshman or still figuring out your circle, you should:

Be Intentional: Don’t just roll with whoever is around.

Look for people who share your values: academics, faith, creativity, or ambition.

Invest Time: Friendships don’t grow overnight. Study together, cook in the hostel, attend fellowship, or take long walks across campus.

Be Honest and Vulnerable: Real friendships go deeper than surface-level gist. Open up about struggles and listen when others share, but with the right people.

Support Each Other: Show up for their presentations, share your food when they’re broke, or offer help during exams. Small acts build strong bonds.

Set Boundaries: Respect each other’s limits. If you need to study, say no to endless gist. True friends will understand.

Having a good friend can be the difference between groping in a dark tunnel and finding light at the end. That’s the power of healthy friendships: they pull you up when life tries to knock you down.

In universities like ours, where academic, financial, and social pressures weigh heavily, friendships are not just “for vibes.” They are essential for survival. The right friends can help you laugh through tough times, survive exam stress, and remind you that you’re not alone.

So as you go through this semester, ask yourself: Do my friendships drain me or build me? Choose wisely, invest in those who genuinely care, and remember that cultivating healthy friendships is one of the best investments you can make for your wellbeing and your future.

At the end of the day, when lectures are over and grades are forgotten, what remains are the memories, support, and love of true friends. If your circle only drains life out of you, maybe this is the sign you need to walk away.