7 Things to do on a date….with yourself.

Elizabeth Inda-John

I promised you last week that you don’t have to be so stressed. Do you remember? I said you could go on a date with yourself and that didn’t go well with some people. I understand.

The hardest thing to do is to be alone. It’s hard to not check the next WhatsApp status, it’s hard to not know the trends on Twitter, it’s hard to not watch Tao or Lasisi’s new video on Instagram, it’s hard to not read that interesting writeup on Facebook. It’s hard. I know this. Social Media has afforded us with the fake luxury of being alone with a lot attraction from others. With social media, you could be alone in a mansion but with seven thousand people calling out your attention. Being alone truly is hard but it’s harder to be stressed.

Before I dive in again, I would like to point out that being alone is not equal to being lonely. They’re different like rice and beans. The fear of being alone comes from low self esteem. You don’t think you’re that interesting enough. You don’t think there’s anything exciting about yourself. You’re not aware of who you are. If you are, your presence would be to other people what a drugs is to drug addicts. Having said this, let’s look at things to do when you’re on a date with yourself.

First thing is to clean up your environment. That room is your restaurant and your amusement park for this date. Clean and declutter everywhere. Everything that should not be there, should go. There’s absolutely no reason that finished cream bottle should be staying in your house. Cleaning up does magic to your mind, you’d be surprised that the ice cream container, you kept in your plate rack for no reason at all, has a space in your mind. Switch off your data. Put your phone on airplane mode. Maybe freeze those apps for at least one hour. If you have the luxury of time, go to your gallery and delete. Delete those pictures and videos, we both know you won’t post them.

Second on the list is to take care of yourself. This means taking a self loving bath, worship your body, it’s beautiful. It’s the first step to relaxing, you’d be surprised at how much attention your body desires. Don’t rush, slow touch, add a shave and moisturize. Don’t say you don’t have money, Shea butter of N50 does the work perfectly. Rub in your skin. Your skin will say thanks. You could add dressing up, if you’re a female, please add makeup. You deserve to slay yourself too. The slaying should not be for just classes and events.

Third thing to do is pick a cool song and a jotter. I recommend Hillsong or Bethel Music but if you’re not into gospel that’s good too. There’s Johnny Drille, John Legend, a bit of Bruno Mars (I said a bit o, it’s easy to get unhealthily addicted to him, he’s that good in my opinion), any cool Soul or RnB song goes really. So the song is playing on a low volume and you have a jotter and pen before you. What next? Write. Write everything that is troubling you. Tell yourself everything that’s currently annoying you.

Then meet yourself. If you’re alone, it’s cool to talk to yourself. I don’t know how people say this is only for mad people, I disagree. The most emotional Intelligent people talk to themselves. There’s something unexplainably amazing about it. You could go “Hi Elizabeth, I’m sorry I neglected you this long. How are you? Do you feel good right now? I don’t know how to do this, what do you think?” Pause after every question and pay attention to the feedback your mind tells you. If you’re not alone however, you could talk to yourself internally. Ask the same questions and listen to the answers.

Next on the list is to address your past. Those things that have hurt you, go back in your memories and relive them. Then tell your new best friend (yourself of course) that those things do not in any way define you. Give yourself some pieces of advice. Tell yourself you’d never be that again. In fact, hype yourself bro! You know how a guy makes a girl blush, even if you’re a guy reading this, please by all means, make thyself blush.

Then dream. One amazing ability we have is the ability to take ourselves to any where in the world with our imagination. Imagine yourself in Santorini, Greece, Maldives, Madagascar with that Jeep, Tesla, Lamborghini, with that dream babe, dream guy. Of course you’ll wake up but the joy! You travelled!

Last thing to do is have fun. Take a walk, dance to yourself, cook something you really want to eat (it’s okay to use your last cash for this), match a trouser to a top, rearrange, learn the lyrics to a song, watch a movie, watch a comedy on Instagram and YouTube. Have fun!

Take time to enjoy yourself because as a wise man said “problem no dey finish.”