PERFECTIONISM: WHAT IS IT AND HOW TO DEAL WITH IT (PART 2)

Oyedokun Agnes Tioluwanimi
We talked about the three major types of perfectionists the other time and some of the thoughts that go on in their heads together with some of the characteristics of high achievers. We are aware that perfectionism can affect one’s performances partly because perfectionists are always either thinking of the mistakes they made and the ways to carry out the next goal with 100% perfection. Many people have the trait and there are differences between being a high acheiver and perfectionist and being a high achiever helps to achieve a better health and happiness. If you have the traits, it is vital to find strategies to get past them and move towards being a non-perfectionistic high achiever. It might take a lot of time taking off the burden and can greatly relieve you of the stress you feel every day.
Let’s go through some examples of the perfectionistic behaviors together:

1. Overly cautious and thorough in tasks (e.g. spending 3 hours on one task that takes others 30 minutes to complete just because you need 100% perfection)
2. Excessive checking (e.g. spending 30 minutes looking over a brief email to your boss for possible spelling mistakes)
3. Constantly trying to improve things by re-doing them (e.g. rewriting a work document several times to make it perfect)

So, how do we get past being perfectionists and become high-achievers? Let’s consider this;
Most times people with the perfectionist trait are not aware that the thoughts in their heads are just limited to them and that other people don’t hear or feel the same way. You might not even be aware of how much those thoughts could affect you negatively but when you become aware of those thoughts, it would be easier to set them right.
When you begin to have those thoughts, say:

1. Nobody is perfect.
2. All I can do is my best.
3. Making a mistake does not mean I’m stupid or a failure. It only means that I am like everyone else—human. Everyone makes mistakes.
   Most perfectionists see mistakes in their works even if the mistake is just 5% and the good qualities cover the other 95%. Try to ignore the mistakes anytime you make them. Appreciate the mistakes because you learn from them, evaluate what happened and think of how to avoid having them happen again instead of getting terribly ashamed and trying to go back in time to correct them as your perfectionistic mind is structured. Try to place your mind on the good part of the work. Acknowledge your achievements and feel proud of yourself for accomplishing them instead of not feeling satisfied because you didn’t get the 100% perfection you hoped for.

Don’t forget to avoid setting unreasonable goals for yourself. Relax. Perfectionism is all about the end result. Yeah, getting the 100% perfect result. This time around, relax and lower the pressure you put on yourself
Here are some things you should also probably add to your to-do list. (…because we like everything to be perfect and we would not take anything lesser than 100% perfection)

1. Show up to the meeting late.
2. Send a letter with few spelling mistakes.
3. Wear a piece of clothing with visible stain.
4. Let people touch your books and don’t cry if they try to make it rough. (I don’t think I can ever try this without crying)
5. Talk to people without practice.
6. Lose your train of thoughts when talking to people.
7. Tell people when you are tired or having a feeling your perfectionistic mind considers a weakness.
8. Leave a visible area in the house a little dirty or disorganized. (Hard for me. I’m holding myself down from helping these girls rearrange the room).
9. Try not to scream when your roommate is about to go out without her mask or when she comes in without washing her hands or using a sanitizer. (Don’t come to my room without doing any of these. Please, I can sue you.)
10. Reward yourself when you get things done even in an almost-perfect way.