REGRESSO DEL CATACLISTA

Eniola Awolesi

Twinkle twinkle little st… will you let me finish my song before you start looking at me like that? Is it your song? Please, rest! Thank you.

Twinkle twinkle little star,

How I wonder what you are,

Up above the world so high,

Like a diamond in the sky.

Yo, fam! Twinkle of Del Cataclista is a star, but he isn’t little. Hunku Twinkle really did return with comedy, music, dance and even more comedy. See, you don’t even need to wonder what he is; Twinkle na spec. Amen!? Up high, and above the Wole Soyinka Arts Theatre, he be like melting cheese for my mouth, or peanut butter, or cold nutella. Anywho, you get the picture.

You were not at the Arts Theatre on the 24th? Please, where were you o? No, tell me, is that not an acute display of diabolical prowess? In layman terms, no be juju be that? As as faculty lecturers want to reshape you with tests, you’d actually allow it? Eeii … tufiakwa! Not me.

So, obviously, the flier said COVID-19 protocols will be duly observed … yen yen yen. I won’t lie, they did their best. The bouncers could bounce. If you know what I mean. But, I just sat there wondering if they would ‘bounce’ me, too if I didn’t comply. Lee to the maoooo … lel. lol. lil. lemao. Wo, I will show them crazy.

What pain me gangan … ahhh! Ridicule, because I no get money. Me, I just said that sebi we’re all human beings, that we will all have equal rights o, let me just buy Persona Importante ticket for 1k o, instead of Persona Muy Importante one for 10k. If we look at it from left to right, really, is it not only muy that differentiates the two? Se I’ll now buy ordinary muy for 9k ni? I’m doing economics, plix. Nigeria don dey hard.

I didn’t know muy came with champagne, shawarma, free everything. E just dey enter my eye anyhow. Na premium content I pay for, e remain small make the thing turn to premium tears. Sha sha, as a hard guy, we move.

I saw horse!!! I’m screaming right now. As I see am, I wan die. If not for hard guy, again, I for beg them to allow me do tika tika small. Wo, to cut the long story short, I got the content I paid for , and at the moment, I forgot my troubles, I forgot that I ate exam breakfast early in the week.