By Oladokun Olajide

After rigorous hours of studying and reading, long stretches of boring lectures and tutorials, examination was finally here. For the semi – serious students like me, la cram la pour seems to be the only escape route from being ‘tsunamised’, unlike the real UITES, who frequented libraries and reading rooms, and have bagged ambassadorial deals with Kenneth Dike Library, examination was the top on my list of 100 ways to die. I heaved a huge sigh of relief when the exams were finally over, not forgetting to say a prayer to Kui Xing, the god of examinations and a curse to Henry Fischel for inventing this scary demon called examination.

Indescribable was the joy within me the weeks that followed, it was time to party and party hard. Afterall, ‘Omo to sise dede, oye ko lasiko igbadun’; apologies to my non Yoruba friends, it simply means ‘A child who works hard should have time to enjoy’. After two weeks of hell in the examinations, I was ready to gyrate and sip my alcohol and AFAS offered that to me on a silver platter, I mean, how many faculties get to hold their dinners off-campus, with or without the school’s approval? A dinner that will boast of a TV personality, content creator, brand influencer, KieKie, and one of Ibadan’s finest MC, Laffup, in attendance and at a giveaway price too, urgent 2k!

I quickly got a date; bought a dinner cloth and my ticket, never on God’s green earth will I be left out of Glitz and Glamour! Madam Vice President, the master planner of the event, is graduating and I don’t think the new VP knows Orllybam not to talk of bringing a celebrity when it is her time, so I must utilize this lifetime opportunity and I’ll forever remember Madam VP for her meritorious service to AFAS and AFASITES: organizing the best dinner in the history of AFAS. My bubble of enthusiasm was however punctured by the president and some members of the FLC (vibe killers) who because of their hatred and jealousy of the VP and AFASITES generally, decided not to support the long awaited dinner; their only excuse was that over 1500 AFASITES paid their basic dues while those that had gotten the dinner ticket were not even up to 200. What a flimsy excuse! Anyway, with the approval of some ‘higher authorities’, they said, the dinner, Glitz and Glamour, was cancelled (inserts crying emoji). The following week, AFASITES who paid their basic dues got their package, I was about getting my own when I felt a tap on my shoulder. “Your old man wants to speak with you”, said my roommate.

Oops! It was a dream.

What really happened.

The FLC approved the budget of Madam Vice President with clauses, but the financial secretary, now the treasurer of the Students Union, who was supposed to serve AFASITES decided to serve ‘higher authorities’, as our President puts it, and Madam VP. Not to bore you with stories you already know, the dinner was held, although it wasn’t glittering neither was it glamorous, but posterity will always remember that a certain Madam VP held a dinner for a minor fraction of AFASITES with the money paid by all AFASITES, hence AFASITES couldn’t get their full package.

However, to every action there is a reaction. AFASITES are waiting for the next line of action from the executive and the ‘higher authorities’. The unanswered question is ‘Who will bear the brunt?’ since nobody is willing to take the blame. At this point, an audit is inevitable but the bitter pill to swallow is that, even the audit won’t bring back the money spent already.

In this writer’s opinion, there are lessons to learn in the midst of all these rogbodiyan, potholes that should be avoided by the new executives to avoid déjà vu next session.

Lesson number one, a house divided against itself cannot last a session. The President should ensure that his team is united. Charity, they say, begins at home. If the President cannot successfully unite his 9-man cabinet, how will he do that for the 1500+ AFASITES he is supposed to lead? When the executive arm is in perfect harmony and full agreement in what they say and do, and there are no dissensions or factions among them, then we are on our way to lasting peace. Therefore, avoid the Paul and Apollos syndrome.

Lesson number two, a general consensus should be reached when making decisions. One of the argument against the Francis-led administration is the fact that the President at a point did not carry his team along, or how else do you explain the President presenting bucket as souvenir to the FLC while some members of his cabinet claimed to be in the dark about it?

Formerly, it used to be ‘cut your coat according to your size’ but now it is ‘according to your cloth’. In other words, aseju ni trousers, knickers na ti wa okay. It is not necessary to have a glitz and glamour party, glitz na ti wa okay, leave glamour alone. The third lesson is that events should be planned within the means of the generated income. All these “Violence is not my thing“, “Greatest AFASITES” and “Rejoinder” wouldn’t have been necessary if Madam VP had planned based on the money generated from ticketing.

Finally, you all were elected to serve and promote the interest of AFASITES and not some ‘higher authorities’. Last I checked, the ‘higher authorities’ are supposed to play advisory roles and not influence your decisions. Come to think of it, the higher authorities won’t get extra semester, right? You better use your head! Besides, you will be the ones to bear the consequences of your actions and not the higher authorities.

Oh, my phone beeps; news updates stream in: “BREAKING: AFAS dinner: the stories behind closed doors”, “Misplaced priority (1): AFASITES bemoans Team Evolution over lack of extra package”.

Should I upset these leaders with these bad news? Or let the dead bury the dead? I will do what you expect and hopefully there will be lasting peace next session.

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