ALL HAIL AFAS POLITICIANS

By Olajide Oladokun

I spent over three hours planning on how best to begin this article but couldn’t come up with a good introduction no matter how hard I tried, so I decided to consult the oracle for a clearer view of who a politician is. The oracle I consulted, Merriam-Webster Dictionary, showed me why I couldn’t get a good head start for my article – I had in my head a stereotyped definition of who a politician is. The oracle then gave me different shades of a politician. A politician, according to the oracle, ‘is a person experienced in the art or science of government.’ It is also ‘a person engaged in party politics as a profession.’ Finally, ‘a person primarily interested in political office for selfish or other narrow, usually short-sighted reasons.’ The oracle is really all-knowing.

However, contrary to the first definition, I can say unapologetically that most politicians in the Faculty of Arts lack not just experience but also knowledge; the last faculty election is a testament to this fact. A large percentage of the aspirants were newbies in the business of politics; the closest they had experienced was being head boys during their secondary school days, an achievement they proudly announced over, over and over again. They failed to realize that this is a university system and they are dealing with a larger crowd. Besides, who on earth compares being a secondary school prefect with holding important posts in the faculty? Dear AFAS politicians, we are not interested in whatever post you held in your secondary school! One would then expect that what these politicians lack in experience, they’ll make up with knowledge. Unfortunately, this is not true of our beloved, premier faculty politicians. Or what justification do you have for someone aspiring for a certain post but doesn’t even know the basic things required of such an office? I won’t bore you with explicit details since we were all witnesses during the last election when certain individuals flopped badly.

Let us digress a bit from our executhieves and see maybe the halLOWed chamber is any different. From the little I’ve seen of the FLC, I’m convinced beyond reasonable doubt that the association won’t fare worse should they be scrapped. To start with, the last parliamentary house had some honorables who never for once contributed anything in all the sittings they attended. All they did was to go with the majority, a typical microcosm of Nigeria’s National Assembly. Then there are some honorables who come to sitting at will; I don’t think there had ever been a sitting that had all the honorables present. The house had its inaugural sitting last week, and guess what? Some constituencies were not represented at all. Then we have some honorables who fit perfectly into Webster’s third definition, or how else do you describe an honorable who suggested that coffee be allowed in the hallowed chamber? Isn’t that hilarious? That is another pointer to inexperience or ignorance, depending on how you view it.

Finally, there is the not-so-popular CPS- Councils of Presidents and Secretaries- whose power was defined in just 18 lines in the AFAS Constitution. That shows how important the Council is! The CPS wouldn’t have made it to this article if not for the election they had last week. As expected, the election had its fair share of clownery. The aspirant vying for the post of the CPS secretary- another head boy during his secondary school days- made a fool of himself. He appeared before the council with a manifesto written on a sheet of paper, one he obviously got at the venue of the election, which means that he drafted the manifesto at the spur of the moment. Guess what? He promised to be compassionate if he was elected as the secretary! He was so unprepared even though he claimed the ambition had long been on his mind. He further shot himself in the leg when he blamed his inadequacies on his faulty phone. Now I’m tempted to ask how he became the general secretary of his department in the first place.

Thinking of all these, the only thing that comes to my mind is ‘All Hail AFAS Politicians.’

PEP TALK FOR AFAS POLITICIANS

My dear politicians, politics, like every other skill, can be learned. Research about the post you are occupying or aspiring for; learn from mainstream politics. Invest in yourself as a member of the legislative council by watching or attending the House of Assembly’s sittings to see how things are done there. Also, cultivate the habit of reading, you could start from the AFAS Constitution. Familiarize yourself with the powers and functions of the office you are occupying.

To the head of each arm, FLC especially, there is the need to have an in-house training for your cabinet to intimate them with the rules guiding the hallowed chamber.

Above all, politicians across the 12 departments should work hand-in-hand for the progress and development of the association, so that we can genuinely say at the end of the day, All Hail AFAS politicians!