TOP ITEMS You Must Have in your Wardrobe as an AFASite (PART 2)

Eniola Awolesi

Hello sweeriii! Let me remind you again that God of vengeance vindicated Messi from those “Messi-ing” with him. From the first time football was ever kicked in this universe and all the universes combined, only one player has been the greatest; his name is MESSI. Go back to where you got your G.O.A.T; omo Ibo don wrap hen for you, call am goat.

Ronaldo in CL final, ó lulè; Neymar in Copa America final, ó lulè; Mbappe in WORLD CUP 2022 final, my Oga broke the table. Are you playing??

In fact, add a LM10 jersey to the things in your wardrobe because it is only “mercy (Messi)” that can raise your GP. Siuuuuuu! Make I continue. I was not shading o. I was just saying.

CRAZY JEANS AND BAGGY CLOTHES
As you read “crazy”, you suppose don get me. As reputable as AFAS is amongst all faculties in UI, there are still some dangbana shokos amongst us who think na only them get crase. Just throw in your crazy jeans at least once a week. Wear a big top on it—I don’t now mean my-daddy-dash-me big o. Tie bandana and strong your face, because nothing is funny. Show them that it is mad that we use to cure mad, were la fi n wo wèrè.

Na the strategy I bin dey use since and I no cast. Sense will not finish me.

2. MAD SLIDES, CONFIRM SNEAKERS, PLENRRIII JEWELRY
As I’ve been saying since all these days, balance l’ayé gbà. This faculty is all about balance. You can’t be wearing one Jesus of Nazareth sandal every day. That sandal will curse you. Get slides, buy one sneakers with plenty shoelaces—OGBON!, and finally, don’t let jewellery be far from your body. So that on days you dress like a carpenter, the bling-blings will distract everyone from seeing the real you.

The woman at the back of the faculty, you will spend 1k, you sef go taya. Rings, leg chain, charm bracelet, necklace, beads, just dey buy dey go. People won’t notice, style ni wón má pèé.

3. SKINCARE
You can use sister Khadijah’s face to blend pepper and you won’t even see the seeds. Imagine someone looking at you from down, you have mad sneakers on your legs, your ankle socks are just peeking through and sitting pretty, your jeans are properly penciled, your tote bag is blinding, your hands have rings and even though you can’t afford wrist watch, there’s a charm bracelet there. Everything set. Someone should now look at your face and they should fall and die. Is that good?

Dey try drink water. That’s the cheapest form of skincare. Buy facial cleanser and cotton wool. Patapata, you will spend #1500. Don’t let your children see your school pictures and ask you “who is this?” S for skincare. Siuuuuuu!

4. NATIVE DRESSES
Especially on Fridays and Saturdays. Now, this is not only for AFAS environment. Dressed in your senator, clean-cut dress, or mad owambe for the ladies, just take a stroll towards Chapel hall. If your GP is 2.0 and above, I’m sure the direction of my thought suppose don clear.

I don’t know who called “last to finish is a fool” for weddings, but people just dey marry anyhow. If any of your friends should say “men/women are scum”, don’t believe them. They might be getting married the next day.

Anyway, just walk toward Chapel hall, don’t look at the security guards at all, and just stroll in. Lunch and dinner for that day? Solved. I suppose dey sell this my sense. Kimonnnn!

5. MONEY
Ehn? Emmanuel can’t read this article ke? Na wetin I still want talk be this o. Garri don blind hin eye finish. Squint your eyes and manage, you hear? Poverty won’t last forever. E fit last, sha, but don’t let it be as if I didn’t motivate you.

Even if it’s #50, be dropping it in your wardrobe every day. Because all these ones I’m saying, shebi it is someone that has body that will dress well. If you see Janet, just hold her well because small air like this, she’ll just start floating. Don’t be like Janet. At least once a week, try dey chop well. You won’t spend 1k finish, I promise you.

Oga Know-it-all, I know it is wardrobe I said, but use your sense to connect the dots.
If you wise, even if you no wise normal normal, my wisdom suppose don gum for your body, buy these things now. Everybody dey do sales; was 20k, now #250. A word is enough for the wise. If you follow these lasan, fogerrit. Whenever Oga Prime comes to snap your class without permission, you sef go don dey ready. You go choke them with beaurrriii!

You won’t carry the money you’re hoarding to heaven. If you die now, na next-of-kin go use am flex after eating your akara join. You only experience AFAS once, except your GP falls into village hands, sha. So dress well before you’ll see your throwback in ten years and start biting the finger of regret.