Five Important Pointers to Help You Scale Through the Semester

Oya, oya, you don catch me.

We all agreed that there would be no ‘greeing’ this year, and here I am, succumbing to pressure. Only good people ‘gree’. Those who don’t ‘gree’ are bad people. Don’t argue with me, do that when your lecturer asks a question in class.

Anyway, according to Layi 2024, “updates don’t cast because updates are always up to date”, so I’m here to update you on how to go through the semester unscathed.
Don’t dull. Follow me;

1. Borrow a Music Course.
Of course, this is not something I have to tell anyone, but there are some proud people I need to drag, the “music is not related to my course of study yen yen yen yen” people, it’s pride. Is it until you have two exams at the same time before you start complaining about the system? Ehn, fine boy?

“I can’t dance, I can’t sing”, excuses excuses. Who told you that everyone borrowing Music courses can sing and dance? Actually, they wreak more havoc than they do any good, but at least they’d get an A. Don’t say I didn’t do anything for you.

2. Don’t Attend Classes.
Wait, let me explain! You know Ben Carson? If you don’t know him, na you sabi. Anyway, Ben Carson is a neurosurgeon, and in his book, he said he was always going to classes, but nothing worked. Until he stopped going to classes. I dey cook!!!

If you see where I’m going, you’re wise. Just flex your life and wait for like two weeks to the exam, that way, you’d remember everything. But if you start reading and being serious now, you know what I’m about to say…

3. Be Bold.
Call your name three times and tell yourself to be bold again. This is a free world, and everyone has freedom of speech. Peradventure, you forgot to read for the test, just tell the lecturer to call it off.

It’s your right. Are you not paying school fees? Please, don’t let anyone pressure you. If they attempt to send you away from their office, no gree. Again, it’s a free world.

4. Support a Student Politician.
This is one strategy nobody will tell you about. Student politicians actually have a lot of money, nobody knows where they get it, but that’s not the point. The point is, they won’t just be sending you campaign content up and down; you will also be making money on the side.

You should pay me for this wisdom I’m dishing out, because if you’re not going to class, at least you’d need something to do.

5. Believe in Yourself.
Nobody can do it like you can. Therefore, as you’re planning to write the semester’s exam, don’t read. Reading is a sign that you don’t trust your brain. Forget whatever they said, I’m telling you it’s absolutely fine to put all your eggs in one basket, so long as that basket is your brain.

You go think say na meme, but no be meme. These strategies have been tested and proven.
Whether you say thank you or not, you’re welcome. You will come back to testify, just do what I told you to do.