Satire: No Classrooms ke? Na Lie, jhor

What a stunning display of administrative ingenuity! The recent complaints about AFASites having no venues for classes are mere fallacies, do you not think? Our esteemed faculty has (FINALLY!) solved the perennial problem of lecture space scarcity. But, alas, not for academic purposes. No, no, no, not at all. It seems our classrooms have developed a curious case of invisibility when it comes to actual classes.

Instead, these same classrooms miraculously materialize for events hosted by local mosques and churches and our esteemed professors. Of course their programs are superior in importance to our student needs! Who needs professors lecturing on linguistics, 19th-century literature, or the intricacies of history when you can have a spirited or impassioned religious celebration? The pursuit of knowledge should take a backseat to the pursuit of salvation or even helping our professors garner more prominence in academia. 

Students, meanwhile, scramble to find alternative venues for group studies, forced to congregate in…in precarious locations. Priorities, anyone? It appears our faculty has redefined the term “higher learning” to mean “higher spiritual calling.” Theology trumps, and scripture supplants where mere students’ classes stand. Oh, but that’s no problem at all. 

The new faculty hierarchy is clear. Spiritual events take precedence, followed closely by administrative meetings, faculty meetings, and conferences. Actual classes are relegated to the bottom of the list. Well, in the faculty’s defense, the dregs are available for the students to scramble for. They have not started taking classes underneath trees, have they? This remarkable feat prioritises faith over faculty and conferences over syllabi. Isn’t that truly remarkable?

And there are perks! Plenty of them; such as heightened spiritual growth (at the expense of academic excellence, but who cares?), interfaith dialogue (while intra-faculty dialogue suffers, or maybe not too much), and increased campus unity (amongst the faithful. Of course!). However, decreased academic performance and increased student frustration are unintended consequences. Maybe the students just need to be a little less selfish and learn to share.

Bravo Hafas, for redefining the process and purpose of education! We await what’s next. Perhaps, in time, you’ll camp our students under the cut down trees for their classes as the noise from the blaring speakers in their official classrooms drown their lecturers’ voices. Only time will tell.