Satire: The Fourth and the Rest

Sakeenah Kareem 

Life is a very funny teacher. When you get too comfortable with a situation, it switches it up to teach you a lesson. One minute, you’re enjoying being the first and supposedly the best but the next day, you find yourself below the third position. You will explain and explain, but the evidence is  against you. So, how did the King lose his crown? Why did the golden man become just glitters?

Let’s not mention the fees leaping like high jump athletes but with no medal to show for it.  Let’s not think about how nothing is artistic about Arts LLT and the only thing you learn in Education’s is different types of odors. Please forget the chairs that remind your buttocks they are made of logs and the fans that forgot their function. In addition to GES 101, ignore that you’re also learning what your seatmate’s armpit smells like and how long a cobweb can grow. 

We shouldn’t talk about how hostile, sorry, I mean hostels are not hospitable. I mean, the rooms are really big, bunks don’t creak, walls are not discolored, and the restroom smells like a winery. In the fourth and rest, you can get free detox and healthy weight loss. Here is how. 

We should also ignore how history students are living in history. Or how our farmers have no green grasses. Or how our lawyers can’t defend their rights. We shouldn’t know that we pay technology fees to live in ancient times and utility fees to utilize crumbs. Remember to open your eyes wide whenever you pass Queens so you can appreciate the heritage of nature that the University endorses. 

Let’s forget all these. But let’s keep asking what went wrong. Perhaps, we might still be first in nostalgia and best in“ I remember when”.