PERFECTION: WHAT IS IT AND HOW TO DEAL WITH IT (PART 1)

Oyedokun Agnes Tioluwanimi
Perfectionists are people who refuse to accept any standard short of perfection. They believe they can only be happy when they achieve perfection. Their constant worries about failing to meet their own high standards can lead to depression, eating disorders and anxiety. If not everyone, then at least 75% of people are either perfectionists or thinking of going the “perfectionism” way. This set of people want everything be a success story with no bit of failure. I am a self-oriented perfectionist and I know there is less happiness in being that but it’s hard to get myself out of that so this is for you if the trait is just showing up or you have the trait but you don’t know what it is called. Research has found that those armed with a mission of daily perfection can suffer greatly be it from depression, anxiety or body image dissatisfaction.

There are three major types of perfectionists: There are the socially prescribed perfectionists who are very self-critical and they feel immense pressure to be the best and worry others will reject them. They believe that other people expect them to be perfect and that these other people will reject them if they fail to meet the high standards. They tend to have low self-esteem and they have a hard time dealing with stress. Some thoughts in their heads according to research by psychologists P.Hewitt and G.Flett such as: ‘I feel that people are too demanding of me. The people around me expect me to succeed at anything I do’

There is also the ‘Other-oriented perfectionists’ who are other-oriented as in they hold others to high standards and can be critical and judgmental. These ones might not even be perfect but they expect every other person to be perfect and they get highly critical of those who fail to meet their high standards. You have probably met with someone like that. Some thoughts in their heads according to research by psychologists P.Hewitt and G.Flett such as: ‘I cannot stand to see people close to me make mistakes, if I ask someone to do so something, I expect it to be done flawlessly.’

Lastly, there is the ‘Self-oriented perfectionists’ who are organized and conscientious. They set high standards for themselves in their lives and careers and are able to go after them. They are very self-critical if they fail to meet these high standards. They tend to create social and emotional bonds with others with a humor style. Some thoughts in their heads according to research by psychologists P.Hewitt and G.Flett such as: ‘I strive to be as perfect as I can be, It makes me uneasy to see an error in my life, I must work to my full potential at all times I set very high standards for myself’
There is another set of people who are close to the perfectionists-the High achievers. High achievers are people who like to be one of the best at what they do and this helps them stay motivated through the hard-work and disappointments or failures that come with improving skills.

There are some differences between Perfectionists and High achievers. Although perfectionists and high-achievers set high goals and work towards them, a high achiever can be satisfied with doing a great job and achieving something close to perfection. Perfectionists will accept nothing less than perfect. ‘Almost perfect’ considered a failure by perfectionists. They are far more critical of themselves than are high achievers. While high achievers take pride in their accomplishments, perfectionists tend to spot tiny mistakes in themselves and their works.
How do we get past perfectionism and aim towards being high achievers?
We’d talk about that some other time.