AMAZING FACTS… MAYBE NOT!
By ENI
There are thousands of facts in the world. Ranging from facts about animals, planets, universities, science, you name it. Of all these facts, however, there are some which are being resolutely ignored, and as a principled and cultured person that I am (note that I am bragging, thainz), I have decided that I will no longer stand back and watch such unkindness and uncomely apartheid.
So, without further ado, here are some absolutely useless amazing facts… because I can. laughs wickedly
Many oranges are actually green when ripe. The fruit only takes on the colour of its name when it is extremely cold and loses chlorophyll, or when the fruit is exposed to ethylene gas. So therefore (it’s a banger!), all these oyinbo oranges na fake. Thainz!
You are 13.8 percent more likely to die on your birthday than on any other day of the year. I’m laughing right now, but I’m not even joking. So, me I just want to tell you that pe, boya you shuu send your photoshoot money to me, and use your birthday to pray to baba God. Abi, what do you think?
Queen Elizabeth II is a trained mechanic. She’s also the only person in Britain that doesn’t need a driver’s license to get into a car. See ehn, in this life, fear women.
Octopuses and squid have three hearts. I’m just wondering o, does this mean they will fall in love three times, and marry three people? I want to be an octopus, plix.
The word ‘dreamt’, together with its variations, such as undreamt’, is the only word in English language that ends with ‘mt.’ Wo, boya you should epp me tell all these English people that gbogbo idiosyncrasies yii o necesstri. Ko necesstri at all. Last last, we no go use English enter heaven.
If you open your eyes in a pitch-black room, the color you’ll see is called “eigengrau.” See, me sef don dey vex for all these useless facts. Wazzaldis??
English, please, rest. The very next article will be in vernacular.
Mtcheww! Have a useless week,
Oh…sorry; mistake. Na English cause am. Na “have a useful week” I wan type. No vex. Ko?!
