5 Meals You Must Get Used to as an AFASITE

By Eniola Awolesi Khadijat

When we were toddlers, we ate as much as we wanted. In fact, once we opened our mouths to cry, the next minute, we had our mouths stuffed with a feeding bottle filled with creamy liquid. I can almost taste it right now. That graduated to eating five times a day with brunch and lunner accompanied by a suitable ‘pepper snacks’ or ‘speedy’ biscuit.

Now, as adults (or almost adults), we are in the university of first choice, the fess and bess, and life will sometimes happen. Bills hia and dia; Netflix and chill; bae and date; credit alert and tears; Sapa and his minions…you gerrit. Even the silver spoon you’re born with turns plastic. Well, we have got you covered if you need to spend that your last 1k for two weeks. These meals are just for AFASITES. winks.

GARRI

If pounded yam is the King of food back at home, (though I seriously doubt that) garri is the King of Kings of food in the Faculty of Arts. For the ajebutters and the rich freshers, you may do yanga and add milk, sugar, groundnut, coconut, and even correct Abuja kulikuli. But for the ajerin and staylites, we soak garri overnight and chill. We’ll now add iced water afterwards. Heaven!

BEANS

You want to chill with the big boys? And you don’t like beans and his family members? Just excuse us and go to the Faculty of Ororo Production. They need you there. Child of my mother, beans and bread, beans and plantain, beans and garri or chop am like that; any which way.

NOODLES

What would AFASITES be if you took Indomie away from them? Now, this is a tried and true fact; you can eat Indomie every day for two weeks, back-to-back like a 7am-3pm class, and it will taste different each time. Is it with egg you want to say or suya and sardines for the ritualists? Abi, it’s choking pepper in Yorùbá girl style? God is good!

EBA

Have I mentioned this? Shhhhh…it’s a rhetorical question you weren’t supposed to answer. This one ehn, just eat it with anything that is liquid and resembles soup. If you try Igbo one, you won’t even need to eat for the coming week.

RISKY BURGER

This is the ògá pátápátá of them. Yes! Risky, risky, this food is risky. It’s risky if you don’t eat it and get used to it. Just combine bread -confirm agége bread– and egg. If you’re a ritualist, add a lirru bit of suya and use the remaining oil in the pan to toast your bread to a golden brown. You will bite your tongue.