Motolani Ogunyemi

Welcome back from the compulsory eight months holiday! It is such a delight to be back in school. Although school can be stressful, I bet it is way better than for a whole seniorman and gbogbo biz girl like you to continue doing all the house chores and running annoying errands in your father’s house.

So, I understand that you are excited (or not) to see your friends and non-friends alike, but all of us have to know what we are doing, so that olopa will not ko everybody. Here are some rules for you to have a wahala-free semester:

  • Do not touch people’s face, hair, or pull their cheeks in the name of greeting.
  • Mr/Miss Scale, do not comment on anybody’s weight, especially if you do not have a close relationship with them. It is really not your business.
  • Resist the spirit that tempts you to ask people what they did during the strike. That they survived those eight frustrating months is enough. Just swallow your saliva.
  • Do not interfere in anybody’s relationship matter. If it has anything to do with love, just waka pass. A word is enough for the wise.
  • We both know that gossip is sweet when you are not the topic of such gossip, but don’t cry wolf when it is your turn or if it lands you in trouble. Nobody is perfect, gossiping about other people is absolutely pointless. Just drink water and mind your business. It is one of the secrets to long life.
  • Be kind and considerate. Everyone is going through a lot.
  • Abegeth thee, smell nice. Nigeria is hard already; don’t make it harder by suffocating us with… I don’t know the right word to use. Contribute your quota to the human race by using a deodorant today.

Abide by these rules, and you won’t even taste stress at all. Well, save for the stress your academics will put you through. Na you dey chase 4.0. Good luck!

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