The Crazy Crazy Kountry

By Olófófó Yusuf

Act 1 Scene 1

In a one room apartment of 2 men; Zino and Phllly. Phily is seen reading a newspaper and seem very interested in it until he sees something that interests him. Zino is just scrolling through his phone.

Phily: (Exclaiming) Another suspension again by the Executive Arm. Ha! Is it everybody they will suspend ni? Wait sef, is it even constitutional?

Zino: (Suddenly gaining interest in the conversation), E shock you abi? In fact, all of us are shocked, it is now looking like anyone who goes against the Supreme Lord is totally excommunicated. It is looking like it now.

Phily: Common, you do not need to say that. You do not know what he did. I am sure he must have done something. Maybe he mismanaged funds, refused to write letter, wait let me check. (He hurriedly checks his newspaper and reads aloud) The Vice Secretary was suspended because he collected the Presidential key without permission and duplicated Go-Varn-Ment property. (Suddenly realising) Wait what?

Zino: Your eyes don open now abi? E don clear for your eyes.

Phily: There must be something underground jare or…

Zino: (Suddenly seeing a message on his phone) Ha, Phily. New Update oooo. They said the House of Assembly has rejected the suspension calling it unconstitutional. Where was the energy when the Minister of Sports was suspended?

Phily: Why are you talking like a novice? Do you not know the Vice Secretary is from the state of the honourable speaker, in fact from the same constituent? Do you now expect him to fold his hands and do nothing especially for something that looks as flimsy as this?

Zino: Hmmmm, word…. Politics in this country eh, It was in this same country that something as important as a townhall meeting was not given the conclusion people needed. It was on the same impeachment of the Minister of Sports. If he was from a different constituent, things may have turn out different.

Phily: No. I disagree. They said it was constitutional ooo. In fact, the speaker of the house of Assembly said it would be unconstitutional to overthrow something that was proven to be constitutionally correct.

Zino: That is it, the Speaker said…

Phily: What are you now trying to insinuate?

Zino: Nothing ooo but for me oo, the main purpose of the townhall meeting should have been allowed to hold after all, it is the voice of the people.

Phily: (Checks his phone) It seems the Vice Secretary has replied. He is denying all the allegations and said the Supreme Lord took it upon himself to suspend him. Nawa ooo
Zino: What did I say? It is looking like the rumours are true oo. It seems that this is now a regime.

Phily: So, you believe the Vice Secretary without proof? You go dey trust Politician especially our Kountry’s politician? Dey jonze.

Zino: Na true sef especially in a kountry wey still never inaugurate electoral committee when tenure don dey end? Kountry wey Vice Supreme Lord dey promote business on official Go-Varn-Ment Channels? Kountry way national Television dey deliberately sideline some kandidates from Colony union even though na citizens they be? Make we just leave this matter jare

Phily: Omo! Crazy Crazy Kountry indeed. Our own still better sha. At least, our supreme lord did not interfere in an election that does not concern him and our speaker is not like the one who gave him small punishment. I trust our speaker in this case.

Zino: Abeggi! Craziness is craziness. This is still a crazy crazy Kountry. God help us.

They both check their phones at the same.

Zino: you sef see am?

Phily: ọmọ!!!! Head secretary gangan talk say him no dey for the whole matter.

Zino: him no even sign the official letter sef.

Chorus: tins dey happen!!!!!

(Lights out)