From Lectures to Lullabies: How New Mothers are Navigating University Life

Agnes Oyedokun

It’s a Monday morning at the University of Ibadan and *Mary prepares for the day to attend classes as she sways back and forth humming a lullaby to her baby with a small pile of lecture notes and assignments lying untouched. Still, unlike many of her classmates, her morning routine also includes changing diapers, singing lullabies, and preparing a bath for her infant daughter. Mary is one out of the many new mothers who have to combine the stressful demands of motherhood with the sometimes exhausting university life which is a life that requires plenteous strength and determination.

For many student mothers, the day begins before dawn. *Jane describes her routine: “I wake up at 5 AM to feed my baby and prepare for my 8 AM class. It’s a constant juggling act.” The challenge of balancing academic commitments with the demands of a newborn is a common theme among these mothers. These women juggle classes, assignments, and exams alongside the sleepless nights and endless responsibilities that come with motherhood. Despite the exhaustion, they find ways to manage both roles, often sacrificing their time and sleep. Their stories are both inspiring and a stark reminder of the strength it takes to tread this unique path.

Through the stories of two student mothers, we gain insight into the general lives of single mothers who embody the spirit of perseverance and dedication.

*Mary, a student in the Faculty of Education, did not anticipate how much her life would change when she got married in 2022. By the time a new academic session started in August, she was already pregnant. What followed was an unrelenting series of physical and emotional challenges. “The first trimester was hell,” Mary says, her voice tinged with a mix of exhaustion and pride. “I used to be so active, but suddenly, I found myself sleeping in class or zoning out. My lecturers would ask questions, and I’d just stare blankly, unable to think.”

The challenges intensified as exams approached during her second trimester. “I was terrified,” she admits. “I wondered how I would cope with studying when I couldn’t even stay awake in class. But somehow, I managed. I focused on rest and avoided overworking myself. God truly came through for me.”

Her greatest test, however, came after childbirth. Just 12 days after giving birth, Mary’s department resumed teaching practice, a mandatory programme for education students. “The principal at the school I was assigned to told me I couldn’t bring my baby to work. It broke me,” she recalls, her voice trembling. “Leaving her with my mum every day felt like I was failing as a mother. I cried every single day.”

Yet, Mary persevered. “I wake up very early now, bathing and dressing my daughter before attending to myself. I’m often late to class, but no lecturer has stopped me from attending with her. My neighbours in Agbowo and my friends in school have been lifesavers, helping with childcare when I’m overwhelmed. “Even small things like seating in class are a problem,” Mary adds. “The chairs are not comfortable for nursing mothers. Sometimes I stand at the back of the lecture hall just to avoid the discomfort.”

Her advice to other women is simple: “If you can, delay starting a family until after school. But if it happens, ensure you have a strong support system. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible.”

For *Jumaanah, a student in the Faculty of Arts, the transition from single-student life to motherhood has been equally challenging. Before marriage, she lived on campus in Idia Hall, attending tutorials and pulling all-night study sessions with her friends. After getting married, however, her life changed completely. “Now I live off-campus, and it’s far from school. I miss tutorials a lot and sometimes run late to classes,” she explains. Her journey into motherhood coincided with her academic commitments, making it difficult to find a balance.

“I had my baby during exams,” she recalls. “My mum moved in with me to help, carrying my baby while I wrote papers. My husband has also been amazing, but it’s still a lot to handle. There are days when I just want to quit.”

When her mother left, the challenges mounted. “I wake up earlier now to attend to my baby and husband before heading to class. Sometimes, I miss lectures because I’m too tired or worried about my baby crying during class.”

Yet, like Mary, Jumaanah has found creative ways to cope. “If I’m studying, I give my baby a book to play with. If I’m cleaning, I hand her something safe to hold. I involve her in everything I do. It keeps her busy and helps me stay productive.”

Motherhood has also inspired her entrepreneurial spirit. After completing a fashion programme, she launched her clothing line. “Being a mother has pushed me to aim higher. I want to build a legacy for my child,” she says.

The experiences of Mary and Jumaanah highlight the resilience of student mothers and the crucial role of support networks in their journey. From family members to friends and neighbours, these women rely on their communities to navigate the emotional and physical demands of motherhood while pursuing their academic dreams.

While the stories of Mary and Jumaanah are inspiring, they also bring to light the personal challenges faced by student mothers in balancing academic and family responsibilities. Although the University of Ibadan does provide some support structures for students, such as access to counselling services and facilities for daycare services at certain amounts on campus, many student mothers feel that more could be done to accommodate their unique needs.

While some lecturers and peers have been understanding, the lack of institutional support remains a challenge. “The chairs in class aren’t even comfortable for nursing mothers,” Mary points out, highlighting a seemingly small yet impactful issue. This speaks to the need for educational institutions to better accommodate the realities of student mothers.

Education should be inclusive and by providing resources for student mothers, they can be sources of motivation for more women to achieve their academic goals without having to choose between their studies and their families.

Despite these challenges, Mary and Jumaanah acknowledge the understanding they’ve received from some of their lecturers and peers. “There are days when I arrive late because of my baby, but my lecturers rarely penalise me. It shows they care, and that helps a lot,” says Mary.

Despite the odds stacked against them, Mary and Jumaanah continue to push forward, determined to succeed both as mothers and as students. “It’s not easy, but it’s worth it,” Mary says. “Motherhood has taught me resilience, and I won’t let anything hold me back.”

Their stories are a testament to the strength and determination of student mothers everywhere. They are not just navigating university life, they are redefining it, proving that with perseverance and support, even the toughest challenges can be overcome.

Editor’s Note: Names marked with an asterisk (*) have been changed for anonymity purposes.

photo credit: westafricaweekly.com, facultyfocus.com