The People You Shouldn’t ‘Gree For’ This Semester


Whoever thought to make “no gree for anybody” the unanimous theme for this year read my mind. Because I wasn’t about to gree for anyone before, and now it has been made into a theme? Yes, please.

However, it has been brought to my notice that there are still questions on who to or who not to gree for. Can’t you read? It clearly states not to gree for ANYBODY. But since we’re not greeing, I won’t gree for you to be left in the dark concerning this issue. We’ll only have issues after I make this list, and you decide to gree for any of the people listed here. Trust me, I will change it for you in a way that won’t please the Lord.

1. No gree for any New Year resolution.
Resolution ko? In fact, change the name to New Year “it’s not me that will do all these things”. Because if you think about it very well, all these years that you didn’t do them, did you die? No. Just think about it.

2. No gree for any original products.
Before you argue, think about it again. Probably, the baby food you drank when you were young sef was fake. Imagine you’ve been drinking and eating fake products since you were young, you now want to change it now, your system will rebel.

Simply put, how sure are you that you’re not fake yourself? You get me now. So just stick to the ones you have. After all, this is Nigeria. You can spend more money to buy this original one, and it will still be fake. Don’t kill yourself. Instead of using the money to buy one original product, buy two fake ones. After all, minus times minus is plus.

3. No gree for any academic comeback.
First of all, where exactly are you coming to? You can only come back if you’ve gone in the first place. So this year, just use it to do academic go back so that next year you can come back.

Also, reason the matter. All the years you’ve been coming back, did you actually come anywhere? Wisdom is profitable to direct. I can’t believe I just had to tell you this.

4. No gree for any lecturer or your course rep.
Yes. And the first way not to gree is not to resume early. Let them look for you in the class and not find you. Let them be the ones to beg you to come to class. Be assertive. Peradventure, you’re in school already; go late to class. That’s another way to “not gree.”

Another way is to decide your own CA. If you’re given an assignment, tell them it’s a test you want. They shouldn’t be the ones to tell you what to do. If you didn’t know, “no be you go tell me wetin I go do” is part of not greeing for anybody.
Imagine your course rep agreeing for a lecturer to change the time of a class. Change it for him and the lecturer.

5. No gree for love.
Do I even have to add this? If you see anybody doing lovey-lovey, just wipe them Oraimo cord. With the way Nigeria is going? Please, please, please.

6. No gree for anybody.
When I say anybody, I mean anybody. Except me, because I’m the one giving you the advice.
The security men, no gree; the cab men, no gree; the University staff, no gree; the academic staff, no gree; your course mates, no gree. Just bone your face and dey your dey.

Please don’t say I didn’t do anything for you this year. If you take my advice and none of them works, well, you didn’t take the advice well because what I said first is to not gree for anybody.

No gree for anybody!
Do not succumb to anyone’s whims and caprices!
Let not the whims of persuasion sway your principled resolve!
Stand firm in the fortress of your convictions!

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